Much Ado About Nothing by William ShakespeareMuch Ado About Nothing, abridged.
CLAUDIO: So, um, Hero, I sorta maybe like you a whole lot will you go to the prom with me?
HERO: We should get married! Squeeeeeee!
BEATRICE: Pfft. Love is for stupid losers who are stupid.
BENEDICK: You know, you might get laid more often if you werenít such a cynical bitch all the time.
BEATRICE: Fuck you.
BENEDICK: Get in line, sugartits.
*audience is beaten over the head by sexual tension*
DON PEDRO: Hey everybody, I had a great idea! Letís make Beatrice and Benedick fall in love!
EVERYONE: YAY! MEDDLING!
PRINCE JOHN: So, I think Iím going to break up Claudio and Hero.
BORACHIO: Really? Thatís your dastardly scheme? How do we possibly benefit from that?
PRINCE JOHN: No, see, I donít like Claudio because my half-brother likes him, and I hate my half brother, soÖwait. Okay, so itís actually a really pointless plan that only serves to create conflict. But itís the only way I get any good scenes in this thing, so MISCHIEF AHOY!
BORACHIO AND CONRADE: YAY!
BEATRICE: Hey Benedick, you still suck donkey balls.
BENEDICK: I fart in your general direction! Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!
BEATRICE: I dont want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper!
PRINCE JOHN: So guess what Claudio? Your woman totally cheated on you. I saw, I was there.
CLAUDIO: OMG I HATE THAT WHORE.
DON PEDRO: Despite the fact that heís a bastard in all senses of the word and has no reason to be helping me or my friends, I think we should believe John without proof or even asking Heroís side of the story.
CLAUDIO: Hero, youíre a shameless whore and I hate your stupid face!
PRIEST: Great job, now Heroís dead from sad.
CLAUDIO: OMG I AM SO REMORSEFUL. FORGIVE ME, DEAD HERO!
HERO: Pysche! Iím really okay!
BEATRICE: Luckily THIS time the priestís idea to fake a girlís death to solve all her problems actually worked, instead of backfiring horribly.
BENEDICK: Hey, thatís pretty funny. You know, I guess youíre not that bad. I think I love you, and stuff.
BEATRICE: Yeah, I guess I kind of love you too.
ANTONIO: Close enough. Now off to kill Prince John!
Much ado about Nothing characters as vines
'Much Ado About Nothing' Character Profiles
Much Ado About Nothing characters are some of Shakespeare's best-loved comedy creations. Benedick: Young, funny and locked into a love-hate relationship with Beatrice. He has been away fighting under Don Pedro, and upon his return to Messina, he vows never to marry. This slowly changes throughout the play ó by the time he agrees to kill Claudio at the request of Beatrice, we know that he is committed to her. His sharpest weapon is his wit, but he meets his match with Beatrice. Beatrice: In many ways, she is very similar to her lover, Benedick; she is locked into the same love-hate relationship, is quick-witted and never wants to marry.
Leonato Governor of Messina, a city in Renaissance Italy. Most of the play takes place in and around Leonato's home and estate. He is father to Hero, uncle and guardian to Beatrice, and host to Don Pedro and his entourage. Friendly and unsophisticated, influenced by appearances and opinions of others, Leonato is a unifying figure, linking the play's plot lines to one another from first scene to last. Hero Daughter of Leonato and Claudio's intended wife-to-be. Quiet, traditional, obedient, and naive, she becomes the unwitting victim of Don John's plot to cause mischief for Don Pedro and Claudio. Her loyalties shift easily: first willing to accept Don Pedro's apparent proposal, then readily shifting to Claudio.
Take the Character List Quick Quiz. Themes Motifs Symbols Key Facts. She is generous and loving, but, like Benedick, continually mocks other people with elaborately tooled jokes and puns. She wages a war of wits against Benedick and often wins the battles. At the outset of the play, she appears content never to marry. Read an in-depth analysis of Beatrice.
Much Ado About Nothing is a comedy by William Shakespeare thought to have been written in and , as Shakespeare was approaching the middle of his career. The play was included in the First Folio , published in By means of "noting" which, in Shakespeare's day, sounded similar to "nothing" as in the play's title,   and which means gossip, rumour, and overhearing , Benedick and Beatrice are tricked into confessing their love for each other, and Claudio is tricked into rejecting Hero at the altar on the erroneous belief that she has been unfaithful. At the end, Benedick and Beatrice join forces to set things right, and the others join in a dance celebrating the marriages of the two couples. In Messina , a messenger brings news that Don Pedro, a prince from Aragon , will return that night from a successful battle, Claudio being among his soldiers. Beatrice, niece of Leonato, a governor of Messina, asks the messenger about Benedick, Don Pedro's companion, and makes sarcastic remarks about his ineptitude as a soldier. Leonato explains that "There is a kind of merry war betwixt Signor Benedick and her.
Meet the Cast - The Tempest. Our Female lead must deliver a well rounded character with honesty and intellect. She wages a war of wits against Benedick and often wins the battle. At the outset of the play, she appears content never to marry, however, she is in love with Benedick, just unwilling to admit it. Chemistry with the male lead in paramount. Chemistry with female lead is paramount.